December 2009
2 posts
A nice three day weekend for funeral planning/actual funeral and maybe a small bout of alcohol poisoning for good measure.
Dec 27th
It’s not Christmas till a grandparent dies.
Dec 25th
September 2009
19 posts
After mentioning Craig Ferguson last night, someone named “CrotchButter” wants to sell me his rattlesnake mug on ebay.
Sep 27th
I inhaled so much powder makeup this morning that my lungs must be flawless.
Sep 25th
Jesus Christ, the new Daisy Owl is brilliant. www.daisyowl.com
Sep 24th
My ONE off day on the weekend is the day that alcohol is not sold. I’m comfortable enough with my nonalcoholic self that I can complain.
Sep 20th
Leaving work soon to go buy the latest season of It’s Always Sunny and a bottle of wine.
Sep 20th
Oh sure, this is a great time for our computer to go down and all reservations be lost.
Sep 19th
I can’t get it together, Internet.
Sep 18th
My Chinese phone, fresh from the package, came with a game called “MAGIC SUSHI!”
Sep 13th
Ah fuck it, I’m getting an iPhone. [Technology 1, Menda 0]
Sep 13th
I fell and hurt my knee. :(
Sep 11th
Sooo…. what happened to thentsh?
Sep 11th
Fuck Wal-Mart. http://bit.ly/2aNwvf
Sep 10th
Guest just gave me a business card with a web address that testified to me and told me why Jesus is in my soul. Christians are getting lazy.
Sep 10th
This makes me want to vomit in protest. http://bit.ly/LZw8i
Sep 8th
On seeing the movie 9 tomorrow: “I can’t wait to watch Elijah Wood’s sack jump around for two hours.”
Sep 8th
Mount Bosavi Possum. http://bit.ly/B9xOA
Sep 8th
I broke my phone, so I got sad. Then I ordered an even better phone, so I got happy. These are trivial times.
Sep 6th
I have important shit waiting on me, Gmail. Let’s get it together.
Sep 3rd
History books forgot about us, and the Bible didn’t mention us. Not even once.
Sep 1st
August 2009
18 posts
I like that as soon as I mention the word “hardcore” even in the context of a bubble bath, I get a metal music obsessed German following me.
Aug 31st
I’m going to take a hardcore bubble bath when I get home. It’s been a long day.
Aug 31st
Dear 2012, why are you a movie? Sincerely, Menda.
Aug 30th
Oh man, I just punched a gnat.
Aug 27th
Real live Hatfield and McCoy feud going on in Alabama. This is GREAT.http://bit.ly/wwhVl
Aug 25th
This is a touching story. A goat touching story. http://bit.ly/15RWv4
Aug 25th
Oh Barney Frank.
Aug 21st
Seriously, though. RESPECT THE BADGE. ………………… *nametag. :(
Aug 20th
I hate waiting on pricks with reservations. GODDAMN. I should probably have more patience at what I do.
Aug 20th
Also: I wonder if the first ConsuBaby has been born yet. I knew that Ferg was being induced this afternoon, so it’s about baby time.
Aug 20th
Shit, I think I have Smell Pica. My iron must be low, right? All I want to do is huff leather and dirt. This is insane.
Aug 20th
I guess he’s the product of Consummating as well.
Aug 19th
Oh Twitter. You’re like a bad penny.
Aug 16th
My favorite in a while: http://bit.ly/14INKz
Aug 9th
Delivery Sushi Status: Awesome.
Aug 7th
Work is impossible right now.
Aug 7th
Delivery Sushi is totally happening. I’m not quite sure what to think about this yet.
Aug 7th
Hello, Internet. We meet again.
Aug 6th
July 2009
12 posts
RT - @jonathancoulton I don’t think it’s appropriate that I am getting spam with the subject “Billy Mays says What Odor?”
Jul 22nd
We have officially moved cities. It’s great not being in an apartment anymore, but we still don’t have internet.
Jul 20th
Tomorrow is like the D-Day of packing and moving. With even more casualties.
Jul 10th
Searching for a way to watch Torchwood tonight.
Jul 10th
Quick Observation: Pirates are on top of Beyonce in Trending Topics right now. That’s how it should always be, Twitter.
Jul 10th
Headed to Ichiban for Last Week in Tuscaloosa Sushi Celebration. Then on to a house warming party I’m not in the mood for.
Jul 10th
Twitter, please stop Bill O’Reilly from being a Trending Topic.
Jul 9th
I love coming home to an apartment full of plants that look like they have lost their will to live.
Jul 6th
Good news, though: Gnats in My Plants (to the tune of Jizz in My Pants) is no longer funny or relevant.
Jul 6th
WE NEED MOVING BOXES. HOLY SHIT.
Jul 5th
Shit. A long drive to Hokes Bluff is now.
Jul 4th